True to form, I spent much of this Summer away from home. If you haven't heard, I've been dating Alex since March-ish (he would call it February, I call it April, so March is our unofficial compromise anniversary date...haha.) This Summer, we were one busy couple. I went to Arizona to see him, he came to California to see me, and we went to Oregon together. Below are some photos of some of our Summer 2009 adventures. Enjoy. :-)


We checked out the view of the city lights from South Mountain, in Phoenix:





We drove really fast in my car:





We rode on airplanes:




And watched the sunrise from Flight 2338:







We played under the San Clemente Pier:







We took a harbor cruise and watched the boats sail by:




We got lost on the University of Arizona campus in Tucson:




We looked pimp:




We played in abandoned mine shafts:




We played with Festivus:







We saw the sights in Eugene:





We saw the sights near Dorena Lake:




We went to the Top of the World:





And watched the moonset:




And finally, we met a Meatball:



:-)
Happy Saturday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: summer

Yes, I know. It's been months. What can I say? It's been a busy summer. My next post will give you an idea as to what I've been up to all the time I've been absent from the blogosphere, but for now, I have some rather exciting news to report:

I can read!

And here I bet you thought I was literate all along, huh? Haha. The thing is, I love books. I love books more than almost anything. When I make a list of my 5 most treasured possessions, my book collection always makes the list. Hell, I was even a librarian for a year in graduate school. Reading books has always been one of my absolute favorite things to do...until last Fall. When I started on the cabergoline (the medication for my tumor), I was all of a sudden unable to finish a chapter, let alone an entire book. Reading just put me to sleep, immediately. One of the ways the medication effects me is my sleeping habits have become aaaalll jacked up. I'm awake when I shouldn't be; I'm asleep when I need to be alert. It's been a struggle, but the fact that I was always too sleepy to read was something that REALLY bothered me. But then, over the Summer, I was all of the sudden able to read without falling asleep! At first, I couldn't believe it! I'm not sure if my body is just getting used to the medication in that regard, or this is one of the side effects of falling in love (Hi there, Alex), but either way, I have been happily devouring books ever since. You can now often find me hanging out in bed in the middle of the night with a book, pulling the same routine I have been since I was a little kid trying to stay up and read as late as I could possibly get away with. "Just one more page! Okay, just one more after this! No, I promise this is the last one!!" In fact, here I am doing just that. I took the below picture with my phone, at 4:23 am the other night, while reading "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid" by Bill Bryson. (Highly recommended, btw.)


"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx


I have often joked that I would die at the age of ninety, when my book collection had finally exceeded capacity and fell over and crushed me. While I hope that's not REALLY the case, I did have Jeremy shoot a photo of me in the bathtub with some of my books. So if you were wondering what I would look like drowning in books...now you know.



My tumor has continued to trouble me in other ways (talk about the gift that keeps on giving!), but at least I got my ability to enjoy books back! I'm doing what I can to hold onto my health. And like the Irish Proverb says... "A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book." And so, with that, I'm off to read something that will make me laugh. :-)

Happy Friday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: books

Dearest tumor,

I have read over your letter, and I feel that I need to make a few things clear. While you seem to think that you run the show, I wanted to remind you that you have some things to be thankful for as well. Think about it--I have taken you to some pretty cool places, and shown you some pretty amazing things. You've been to Joshua Tree, Vegas, Oregon, Chicago, Memphis, and Mexico. You've been to the Racetrack Playa in Death Valley, one of the most remote spots I have ever traveled to. You were there when I stood on that lakebed, listening to the wind howl. You saw that full rainbow after New Year's on the Columbia River. You have seen the glory of a Zion sunset. And yes, I made you go to traffic school, but I should be forgiven: you have been able to watch me make snowballs, and hug my doggies, and feed my turtle strawberries (his favorite). You have been there every time my boyfriend has told me how much he loves me. You know what the San Clemente pier looks like late at night, after closing time.

To be fair, it's hard to make a comprehensive list of all the places you have gone, since I am not quite sure how long you've been with me. Your symptoms started making themselves known last Spring, and you were spotted on an MRI for the first time at the end of last July. I found out for sure on September 8, 2008, that you had taken up residence in my head. On that day, I officially became "sick." I have struggled with what that means, to me and to others. I have heard "But you don't LOOK sick!" and "You sure don't ACT sick!" more times than I care to count. You may not know it, but you have given me the patience to hear that and not immediately deliver a lecture to the well-intentioned individual who uttered it. The havoc that you wreak on my moods and emotions will make relationships with others difficult at times, but I will be thankful for those in my life whose understanding and support have made your greedy little existence just that much less comfortable.

Your symptoms have been embarrassing at times, unbearable at others, but I will never let go of the positive lessons you have given me. You have given me impetus to strengthen friendships. You have given me reason to open my heart to an amazing, strong man. You have given my character strength, you have taught me the real meaning of "hope," and you have shown me that us humans always, always have reason to persevere.

And so yes, since that day last September, my life has been different. And yes, it has been different in that I've been more tired, and less able. But I now have reason to rest, and to pay attention to my body. When I have a bad day, I will take the best care of myself that I know how. When I'm not able to take care of myself, I will allow others to do so. When I have a good day, I will treasure every moment. When I see a beautiful flower, I will stop to smell it, and I will even linger awhile. When I feel love, I will stop to embrace it, and I will do my best to give it back.

You may make it difficult some days, but I will still get up. I am still here. I am still in charge. Come with me if you must, but be aware that I am still going places.

You may hurt me. You may slow me down. But know this:

You. Won't. Stop. Me.

Sincerely yours,
Velvet



Self portrait. Death Valley, California.

Happy Thursday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: tumor

**This post is part one of a two part entry. I know I usually just post tales of my photo adventures on this blog, but I felt like writing a bit about the "tumor" part of "Have tumor, will travel" tonight. Below is a letter written from the perspective of my tumor. Tomorrow, I will post my rebuttal letter, written from my perspective.**

Velvet,

Congratulations! Your skull has been selected as the host for me--a pituitary tumor! Since you may not be familiar with my kind, I have provided a handy list below of just some of the wonderful things that I (and the medication you take to try to suppress my growth) will bring to your life.

Because I am greedy and need a lot of energy to grow, you will feel fatigue like never before. I don't mean that you will simply be tired. I mean that there will be moments where you will feel so drained that even putting on your shoes or showering will feel like insurmountable challenges. The energy and vigor of your relative youth will vanish in these moments, and the best part is--you will never know when they're coming! You could be at work, on a hike, or out with friends, when all of a sudden the bottom will fall out and you will feel like you just cannot take another step. Oh, and good luck getting up in the mornings and getting started with your day. That fancy medicine of yours will see to it that most of the time, waking up will seem next to impossible.

Although I will try to make sure that you experience pain in as many parts of your body as possible, I will focus it most often on/in your head. The best way I can describe the sensation is to compare it to the feeling of a ball-peen hammer being continually smashed against the inside of your left brow bone. The pain will be manageable at times, but at other times, you will have to stop whatever you're doing, hold your hand against your forehead, and take deep, gasping breaths in order to cope. This pain will be worst when you go from sitting to standing, and you will never again get up from a chair without thinking about me and bracing yourself for the crushing sensation I so generously provide for you inside your skull.

When you take the medication your doctor has prescribed to try to suppress my growth, I will punish you dearly. You will experience balance problems, clumsiness, and mental confusion. Your punishment will also involve a special brand of nausea that will cause you to vomit unexpectedly in a variety of places--in a restaurant, where a stranger will have to help clean you up; in your boyfriend's bed, where he will have to clean you up; in your own bed, where you will have to clean yourself up.

Your once infamously impeccable memory will not be what it used to be. You will lose things--keys, documents, moments you'll never get back. Over time, you will learn to expect this, but you will never get used to it.

I will cause you to have terrible, frightening hallucinations. I will threaten your fertility. I will threaten your vision. I will make sure that your life is never, ever the same.

Please note that I reserve the right to add to the above list as I deem necessary. Thank you for sharing your headspace with me--I look forward to many, many years together!

Sincerely,
Your tumor



I took this photo at Crater Lake National Park last Fall, the morning after a major forest fire. It was also the morning after I had my first medication-induced hallucination following my tumor diagnosis. Despite it all, nature saw to it that it was a beautiful, beautiful day.
:-)

Happy Monday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: tumor

Many of my best adventures happen in the Desert, and my last jaunt to Joshua Tree was no exception. When I met Ralph, a fellow photographer, in Death Valley on my birthday, he told me he was organizing a photographer's weekend in Joshua Tree National Park for late Winter. Of course, I was in, since I never miss an excuse to hit JT (more on the photog's weekend in my next post). Jeremy joined me on the trip, as did Nate. We based ourselves at the Motel 6 in Twentynine Palms, which turned out to be an...interesting choice on a payday weeekend. The Marines were out in full force, with full wallets, and we hadn't been at the motel for more than five minutes before one of them decided to be-friend us. It was almost midnight, but he was under 21 and his buddies had all ditched him to go to the bar, so Phillip was looking for friends. I told him we were headed out into the desert East of the Marine base to find a dark spot to do some star trail photos, and he was determined to accompany us. Now, it might seem risky to let some random dude in my car in the middle of the night, to drive out into the desert, but...well, okay, in retrospect, it probably wasn't the safest decision. What can I say? Things seem different when seen from the second deck of the Twentynine Palms Motel 6. :-P

Nate was kind enough to strike a pose for me the next morning before jetting off for Irvine.



My Challenger is so fast, it makes the earth move. :-)


Our new friend Phillip turned out to be quite the character...he's an Indian from Alaska (yeah, us Natives can spot each other a mile away, apparently...haha) and he'd had quite a rough life before joining the Corps. He told us stories of drug use and abuse, and alcohol consumption on a level that normally doesn't happen until one has been addicted for decades...but it's how Phillip had been getting down since age 11. Nate (former Army) and Phil talked the night away, as we sat in the desert in the darkest spot we could find, on the road out towards Amboy. Phillip told us he'd been abused severely as a child, had raised several siblings on his own, and had become a Marine because his father was a Marine. He talked about the local girls in the Stumps (aka Twentynine Palms), but most especially about the girl who had stolen his cell phone the week prior. He had started his day at 4 am, with an 11 mile hike through the rough mountains on base, with full gear (flak, Kevlar, and rifle), and yet he talked to us until after 4 am that night. Yep, he'd been up 24 hrs, but with the assistance of his Crown and Coke, Phil was still going strong. The story of his life reminded me of someone I know, and of many someones I once knew...

Phillip and Company at the 7-11. Rock n roll.



The crosses below stood as a roadside memorial to two Marines who had been killed in the Seventies. One was a PFC, and one was a LCPL. As I brushed the dust off of the nameplates on the crosses, I wondered about them and their stories. I wondered if they fought in Vietnam. I wondered how they ended up on that road, way out past the middle of nowhere, and how they had died. I wondered who missed them still. And now, looking at this photo, I think of the death poem of Quetzalcoatl (the Aztec God), which ends with these words:

"It ended...
His body changed to light,
A star that burns forever in the sky."



Happy Monday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: joshua tree

Lesson of the month: don't climb mountains in ballet slippers.

No, seriously. Don't do it. I tried it. It's bad news. Awhile back, Alex and I went to Papago Park, in Phoenix, and decided that we were not just satisfied looking up at Hole in the Rock...we definitely had to climb it. I got partway up, but the moment I realized I couldn't go any further because my shoes wouldn't grip the rock was also the same moment that I realized I couldn't go back down either. Um. Yeah. Shit. And so, there I sat, pondering how to get back down without a cracked skull. Luckily, Alex is patient, and he was there to carefully help me down from my precarious position.

Of course, once I was settled on the safe little ledge, waiting for him to finish his mountain explorations, I was actually more concerned about the welfare of my camera than myself. I just had it around my neck and hadn't brought a camera bag with me, and I had a picture in my head of it banging against the rock and shattering into a billion tragic little pieces. I almost long for those days now that the Compact Flash card slot in my camera is apparently jacked up and will not work at all. Luckily, my Sony A700 also has a slot for a memory stick card, so I can use the one 2GB memory stick card I have in that slot for now. But until I get it repaired, the 40GB I have in CF cards are just sitting here, unusable. Talk about decreased functionality...yeahhh. I know, I know...I need to talk to Sony and get the body sent in for repair, but hey--they don't call me Polly Procrastination for nothing!

In any event, below are some shots I got back when my beloved camera was still fully operational. The same evening that The Alejandro and I visited Papago Park, where we made the nearly ill-fated mountain climbing attempt (oh, but you should have seen his descent...), we also visited the Desert Botanical Garden. The Garden has a display of Dale Chihuly glass sculptures until May 31, and if you're in the Valley and haven't gone yet, I highly recommend it. It's amazing stuff, especially at night.


He ventured further than I. He was also wearing proper footwear.



The pre-sunset sky was quite nice. I'm not sure the composition is so nice, but hey, it's the best I could do while holding onto a rock for dear life.



This was taken just before he ran down a sheer rock wall. No, really. He did. Because: safety first. :-)



"Desert Wildflower Towers" at dusk.



2 minutes before we happened upon this, we were conversing about how people can see almost anything as a phallic symbol. Oh, the irony of the "Saffron Tower."



"Orange Hornet and Eel Grass Chandelier" suspended over the Garden.


Happy Friday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: arizona

Apparently, I can run, but I cannot hide from the PT Cruiser. You see, last Summer, I totaled my car by hitting a deer (yeah, thanks bunches for that, Bambi). I wanted to get a Challenger as my new vehicle, but dealerships weren't yet taking delivery of them, so I decided to rent in the meantime. I was in rentals for a total of 8 weeks, and all but one of those rentals wound up being Chrysler's answer to Mr Toad's Wild Ride: the lovely PT Cruiser. You see, I figured something out, in my quest for the cheapest possible rental car that was not a Kia...at Fox Rent A Car's LAX and Orange County Airport locations, an economy car is a PT Cruiser. A compact car is a PT Cruiser. An intermediate car is a PT Cruiser. A full-size car is a PT Cruiser. A standard car is...you guessed it...a PT. Of course, they will charge you more for each of these above the economy class car--as much as $22 per day more for the standard car. But you can pay the economy rate and get the same car you would for the higher rate. Once I figured out Fox's little scheme, I decided to take advantage of it, since it was the least expensive non-Kia rental I could find.

I actually had hopes that the unique design of the car would be functional and useful--but it was not. The seats in the back don't lay down--instead, they do this weird folding maneuver that renders 1/3 of the rear storage space unusable. The car has a weird little analog clock instead of a digital one, which, while it might be a nice "classy" touch in Chrysler's eyes, seemed to be a serious safety issue to me. The window controls are up on the center console, which is just weird and illogical. The car just drives poorly--the ride is uncomfortable, the design bizarre, and the head room seriously suck-tacular. When I finally purchased my Challenger in October, I vowed to never, ever have to see the interior of another PT Clown Car again.

Yesterday, I broke my vow. I had to take my Challenger (or, as Brooks has named it, the Sexenger) in for a warranty repair, and one of Dodge's rules for warranty rentals is that they require you to drive a Mopar vehicle (I guess they don't want you finding out you like a Pontiac or something better). The only rental available within the Chrysler family was, of course, the dreaded PT. I almost felt sorry for the rental car agent, as she tried to talk the car up to me "Oh, this is a great little car!" and I rolled my eyes and tried not to rotfl. The woman who was returning the car was in the office at the same time as I, and it turned out her nickname was "Velvet." I have never met another woman named Velvet in my life, and even though this was a nickname for her, I was still excited. I was talking to her and wondering how similar we might be, etc, since we went by the same name. But when she started professing her love for the PT and saying how sorry she was that she had to stop driving it, I realized "This woman and I could not possibly have anything in common" and completely tuned out the rest of the conversation. Because...seriously.

I did get a few good photos out of my rental Clown Cars. The first was the photo below. I took it in Sequoia National Park, after I met the three bears on a hiking trail (long story...). The reflection may look like it's in a lake or other body of water, but look more closely...that is the roof of my rental PoopTruck that you're seeing the sky reflected in.


Purchase a print of this image!

The other good thing the PoorTool Cruiser did for me was take me out into the middle of the Arizona desert. The first stop was Saguaro National Park, where I parked it illegally by the road and captured this image as Jeremy and I hiked up through the cacti to catch sunset.


Purchase a print of this image!

Later that night, we made our way into the desert near Casa Grande, so that I could light-paint this Saguaro from behind with a hand-held flashlight. Aaron was with us, and we all had a great time popping the cork on a champagne bottle while listening to strangers hook up in the bed of a pickup truck somewhere across the desert. I beat the absolute crap out of the car getting it out to that spot, too...I actually turned it back into the rental company with a tumbleweed hanging from the front grill. Yeahhh. I think it was worth it, don't you? :-)


Purchase a print of this image!

*Disclaimer: If you drive a PT Cruiser, I do apologize to you...not for talking smack about your vehicle, but for the fact that you have to drive such an offensive machine.

:-)

Happy Friday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: arizona, challenger

Spring has always been my favorite season. Sure, I love Summer, with all of its warmth and happiness and blah blah, but living in Southern California has made me rather spoiled to that (living in the land of the Endless Summer does have its benefits...). And I do love the Fall in Oregon, when the new, green leaves turn brown and crispy with the colder air (and for the record, there is nothing like Halloween in the Pacific Northwest...). But ever since I can remember, the promise of Spring has stirred something in me.

Here we sit, spinning around on the largest rocky planet in our little solar system, just hoping that things go right...that no big rocks slam into us unexpectedly, that our sun doesn't burn out prematurely, that the poles don't suddenly shift and send us the way of the T-Rex (out of food and air to breathe and wondering just WTF went wrong.) But for the next two seasons, we lucky souls that sit on the Northern half of Terra Firma will experience longer periods of daylight, as the Earth begins its tilt towards the sun and our hemisphere warms.

I took the photo below while on the road near Mt Shasta last December. It was, um, not exactly a warm day. On my way to Oregon for the holidays, I stopped my car on the side of I-5 and traipsed across a field that was filled with rocks covered in snow, land-mine style, to shoot these trees (only to discover later that my ISO was set waaaay higher than I had intended...rad.) It might seem odd to post a Winter scene now that it's Springtime and the promise of things such as new flowers, new sun and new love are on the horizon, but I guess this is my way of saying sayonara to the darkness of Winter and saying hello, and welcome, to all of the things yet to come. :-)




"Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit."
Anton Checkhov



Happy Saturday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: spring

I know, I know. I have been pretty absent from Blogger recently, and I want to make up for lost time. I have a backlog of at least 10 blogs that I need to post (Joshua Tree, guns, Arizona, my car, headshots, fights, pow wows, more headshots, more Arizona, etc). I've got the photos...I've just been lacking the time and (as usual) the motivation to sit down and process them. Anyway, as you can see below, I'm trying out something new. It's a free way to create an embedded slideshow using your Flickr-hosted photos. It's from Pictobrowser, and so far, it seems pretty cool. Let me know what you think of it. I don't entirely like that you have to click on each picture in order to see it (there doesn't seem to be an auto-play option), but other than that, I think this could be a fun thing to use from time to time.

And speaking of good times...that's what the photos below are of. You may remember that I blogged some photos from Hollywood a few weeks ago. The night I took those photos, after shooting the Academy Awards preparations, Jeremy and I got back to my place in Orange County around midnight. We were just sitting around, winding down, when Ryan informed me he was going to stop by. At 2:30 am. Yeahhh, the party doesn't start around here till 2:30...welcome to my life, kids. :-P And besides, I've known Ryan for a year and a half, and I know him well enough to know by now that, well, that's just how he gets down. Ha. So Ryan and his buddy Clint showed up and had some drinks. As you can see, most of the party happened in my kitchen, and even the infamously anti-social Yertle left the friendly confines of his tank to join in on the fun. (He's kindof a big deal. People know him.)

The most amusing part of this little part-ay actually happened the next afternoon around 2:00 pm, when I woke up to a text from Jeremy (he was asleep on the couch), that said "Is someone washing dishes?" Uhhhhmm. WTF? I went out to investigate, only to find Clint scrubbing my dishes. Everyone else was still asleep (that's what happens when the party doesn't stop till 7 am), and this guy was cleaning my dishes because...well, to be honest, I'm not really sure why. Anyway, I woke Ryan up to ask him "Um, hey, dude, your friend is, like, out there washing my dishes. Is that normal?" He just smiled, said "Probably" and...promptly went right back to sleep. Nice.

The Marine Corps is sending these guys off to Afghanistan later this year, but in the meantime, there are drinks to be had. Those drinks are, consequently, the reason why so many of the photos are out of focus. Anyway, if you've ever wondered what it looks like when the party goes off at my house...now you know. Stay tuned this week for more updates, and lots and lots more photos. :-)





Happy Monday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Well, kids, alot has been happening for me recently, and I've got all kinds of photo stories to tell here in the coming days. But for now, here are a couple of shots from this weekend, along with a list of ten things I have learned in the last 48 hours. Because I like lists. And just because I can. :-)

1. 15 years in, and he still knows me better than I know myself. And I'm still glad.
2. A hollow-point bullet can make a helluva hole in a deck.
3. Lightroom really likes to crash when I'm in the middle of something important.
4. I miss Aaron.
5. I really like not having neighbors. They should move out more often. My subwoofer is benefitting.
6. It's never too late to get the party started.
7. It is possible for a place to become a ghost town even before the residents have had a chance to move away.
8. Alex was really cute when he was eight.
9. Possibility lies in the desert.
10. Some places are so amazing that the photos almost take themselves.
    
    
    

Sunset over Palm Springs. Taken near Keys View in Joshua Tree National Park. February 28, 2009.

Happy Tuesday to all, and to all a good night.
--Velvet--

Labels: joshua tree